So yesterday I was a bit humbled/embarrassed/put in my place? I am not the nicest person when I am pregnant and I am also not the nicest person when I am stressed so you throw the two together and this week I have been the bitch from hell (sorry mom) but it's true and the worst part is I take it out on ppl closest to me. I take it out on them because I think deep down I know they won't disown me and because they are family or like family they will love me despite of this. But yesterday I got told off for it and I really respect her for doing it. I had been going through the week in a terror...I wasn't intentionally doing it but sometimes I just do this and it gets out of hand..I become evil. Snapping, being rude, grumpy, ill mannered....yes folks even the princess of etiquete has her bad weeks. To be fair on my part I did get some terrifying news from the hospital and have been really upset about it. BUT as my parents have said from birth "there is no excuse for a bad attitude" and Elleanor Rosevelt (sp) once said "it is us and only us who gives ourselves permission to be miserable, the rest is up to nature" And of course when someone corrects me I am a such a proud cow that I always get sarcastic and put my back up but after thinking about it for a minute she was right I had been rude...horribly rude and I hadn't set a good example at all. So to my best friend I love you and I am so sorry for hurting you this week, it wasn't intentionally aimed at you and I pray you forgive me. You know how scared I am and I know it's no excuse but I am sorry and will try harder. xx Pregnancy is not easy, even calm normal pregnacies....this one has been hard from conception. I have been ill longer than most women, I have been scared every moment, I have been in and out of hospital, and I have been given restrictions on things that are like breathing to me ie. lifting children, doing the vacuming, reaching up to get things off shelves, lifting groceries, and normal day to day things...I am banned from doing them. I know God has a plan and a purpose for everything and I know that I am indeed a child of the greatest physician and healer and protector. I know this....but I am still human and I still have my wobbly weeks....and this is one of them. On a more positive note tonight is our house warming/birthday party extravaganza and I am praying for perfect bbq weather! I need to get off here and get dressed so I can pop to market and get the fresh veggies I need....Steve is in charge of the man food (meat) I am in charge of the woman food (salads and desserts lol) so I need to go and get some stuff to go in my salads as my tomatos are there (MILLIONS OF THEM!) but just very green still....won't they taste good though!!!! Take care and God bless you whatever you do this weekend!
In Him,
Mara
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