Spring!

Spring is a time for growth, new beginings and new starts. It is a time of loving life and of allowing happiness in. We have quite a few things going on at the moment. I am slowly coming out of morning sickness and finding a little bit of energy. I don't feel fully pregnant I suppose because we havent had any scans or heartbeat searches merely because I have only had the one apointment. BUT I am growing physically....my clothes are fitting differently and things are getting tighter. Steve is finding his niche at work and begining to get good at what he is doing. He is growing in confidence and friendships. Maggie oh my goodness, she is just growing and growing! She is becoming independent and learning to test boundaries. I love this...for so long we worried that she would have developmental delays and that there might be the possibilities of aditional needs so to see her standing up for herself and saying "NO"  and acting out....I don't get upset by it I rejoice in it knowing that she is doing what she should be. I do realize that other people will see it as being naughty but what they need to realize is that she is not and never has been naughty. I am training her to be an independent free thinking and very vocal little girl. I do not want a little docile princess I want a little girl who can stand up for herself and defend herself. AND HOW DARE anyone tell me otherwise...honestly I dare you. Go on love....try it out ;)  We are also moving at the end of May into a gorgeous cozy home. Perfect for us! Two bedroom, lounge and dining room, galley kitchen, adorable walled garden for maggie and a working wood fireplace in the lounge! It has loads of storage and a huge bathroom. It is in town and five minutes from the park and our fave coffee shop, it is also 3 minutes from work :) yay for me! lol can roll out of bed at 730 and be ready and at work by quarter to! lol and maggie can walk with me in her new shoes.  She said "shoes" today, so cute, she was wandering around clapping them together watching the lights flash and she looked at me and I said "new shoes Maggie"  and she goes  "shoes mummah!"  :) So this spring we have lots going on and lots of growing and new beginings! :)

turkey breast, ham, lettuce, pickles, onions, jalepenoes, and southwest sauce.

This is what I had for lunch and it was delicious! I havent been sick since sunday so I am crossing my fingers and praying hard.....it's funny how once you have the baby your forget about morning sickness but during the time it feels like the only thing in the world.  It really is enough this time to put me off having any more children. I love my food and I hate feeling sick....my two big things in life eat well and live well. I can't live well if I am worried about throwing up on my bosses perfectly done hair and high heels.  So here is hoping that I am going to start feeling better. I really and truely need my dishes done they are just piling up and every time I go to do them I get sick and end up having to lie down. I feel bad asking steve to do it. Maybe he can do it just once more. Pray he feels like blessing me by doing the dishes. :) He isnt as patient with me this time around. With Maggie he was the doting fascinated husband and this time it's like "oh my goodness mara are you sick again?!"  OR  "it's just a bowl of dishes I am sure it's not that bad"    I know he is exhausted from work but so am I and then I look after Maggie as well....I wish he could see how very tired I really and truely am. I hope he gets more excited about this baby as time goes on. I feel a bit alone sometimes because he doesnt seem as interested. Maybe he is still in shock...it is a big adjustment.  Anyways that is my randomness....xxx

daily moment of peace

So my tea is in my tummy, the baby is bathed and snuggling with her dad and the house is peaceful. I love these moments when the world doesnt seem to exist and we all just slide into quiet. I spend so much of my day singing and dancing, jumping and cheering, trips to the potty trips to the ballpool, hugs and cold compresses and finding lost dummies and muslin squares. There is not alot of time in my day where I can pause and say "thank you Lord for your goodness and your mercy, for your abounding grace and love!" So I like to use this time to go over what I am thankful for and how thankful I am for it.
I am so grateful for my God my protector and providor, my comforter and refuge.
I  am so grateful for my husband who is also the things mentioned above as well as my lover and my best friend.
I am grateful for my beautifully perfect daughter who makes every part of my day worth living, and who has overcome so much and really is the pride of my life.
I am grateful for this new life growing inside me, the life that miraculously chose now to show up and become a person. This new chance to start over and try this pregnancy again.
I am grateful for the roof over my head and the food in my house there are so many who arent as fortunate as I am.
I am grateful for my job...yes even that lol I am grateful to have a steady income and a job that I am fortunate to love most days and children to look after that remind me why it is important to be young.
Most of all I am grateful for my ability to be myself whether myself is dragged out of bed and looks horrible or myself is glowing and radiant...I am so thankful to be able to be me....crazy quirky and odd but unique...ME
So in the quiet I say "thank you Lord, I love you and I am grateful for all that you do in my life!" 

We're going to have a baby!

God has been amazingly miraculous! We were told after having Maggie through fertility treatment that it might not happen again. So we sort of put trying for another baby to the back of our minds and decided to enjoy the little family that we had.  In early February I started feeling really rotten and couldn't stop going to the toilet, I thought maybe I had the flu but was about 2 weeks late on my period. SO I thought "there is no human way possible that I am pregnant again, I mean I havent used birth control for 19 months so why would it happen now?"  but I went and got a test and sure enough I tested positive. This was an amazing shock and I will be honest it has taken me nearly all this time to accept that life is about God's timing not my timing. I love this child the same as I do Maggie and I can't wait to blossom and grow. I am terrified, I am scared to death after last time BUT I am being refered to a clinic and will be heavily monitered...that is if they ever get into contact...*gotta love the nhs* This is a miracle and we are just awestruck by the amazingness of it. Maggie was a miracle of science and God but this baby is a miracle of nature and love and God! Imagine me....being pregnant naturally I never once considered it. To be honest I have been so sick this time, I have thrown up every day at least once if not 3 times, I can't keep food down for long and fluids are ok...therefore the doctors refuse to treat it as something serious since I have fluids down me. If it continues I will be going back. Although I am near the end of my first trimester so hopefully it will ease up. I want to blossom and bloom! I am constantly reminded of Psalms 139 all the time with this baby because we werent thinking of the baby, so God in all His glory reached down into the depths of my body and created this baby the way it was meant to be made natually without drugs, chemicals and stress and trauma. This baby is going to thrive in my stomache and with prayer and support we will make it longer this time! I am 12 weeks now...here's to another 28!!!!!!