what if you asked me...

I have been thinking alot lately about what if you asked me why I am here. I am not sure if I could give you a complete answer. I met and fell in love with a handsome Englishman, I moved over here to be his wife. While here I met and fell in love with my adopted family of nursery nurses and went to work in their nursery that I have come to call home. I then met and fell in love with my daughter.  Throughout the process of my journey here I have met and fell in love with many things, people, and places. BUT Why amy I here? Growing up I was sure that God had a purpose for me a big plan where I would be a missionary in a foriegn country and would save millions of lives.  Well now I am here and yes it is a different country and yes I am a missionary of sorts as I live my life and try to lead by example BUT Why am I here?  I don't know, I am about to start the process of applying for my degree which will tie me here for at least 5-6 years and then from there who knows. I really feel like God is telling me to do this as it is an amazing opportunitiy to be given this chance of education, and I am honoured to be considered for a place. BUT why am I here? Is it to get my education so I can go on and do the saving and the nurturing? Is it possible that my plans as a child were influenced by my surroundings? I am good at what I do so maybe my future really is what I am doing and that is why God has been opening all of these doors for me. I don't know but I am now in a state of Why and Where am I going.....this is my current contemplation.    ALSO I am feeling a little sad. My baby my tiny baby??? she isnt little anymore she is growing so quickly and I feel like I can't catch my breath with her....yesterday she climbed into the big ballpool at nursery on her own and swam to the middle of the balls to get to the slide. My tiny baby who was born weighing 1.29kg....she is now climbing into things that are 3x bigger than her and not looking back at mummy for support at all. I know I should celebrate her growth and I do every day BUT its a bittersweetness that fills me because I know that not long from now she will be starting school and growing into her own person.....who will she be?!