Home again...

I am home again today I made it to work feeling rough and chalked it up to morning sickness and then the world started spinning a wee bit too quickly and I realized I needed to be in bed. As my midwife is non interested in my pregnancy and I have yet to be contacted by the clinic I am feeling a bit lost and left alone BUT  I know well enough to sit down and rest when my body is telling me to. Steve had a bit of an arguement with me last night and then I of course opened my mouth and put my feet in the middle of it and riled him up. My only point was that I was feeling a little off and needed to rest. Maggie had been up in the night and the last time she woke I simply couldn't get up again. Anyways today he suprised me by bringing me a bouqet of flowers, a sandwhich, and a soda to say sorry. He was so sweet! Anyways I just feel a bit like I don't know what is going to happen. I don't mind laying still, I don't mind resting....BUT I need to be reassured that everything will be ok, it doesnt have to be perfect but I want it to be ok......is that too much to ask? I am being leached of everything...strength, emotion, mental stamina. I have a mantra that I have been repeating for the last 14 weeks along the lines of "please God let it work, please let it stay inside long enough this time"  over and over in my head before bed, when I get up, throughout the day....I just get so scared.